Jokes and Ideas of the Decade

Jokes of the decade:

1. A guy wants to date a girl out... and due to language problem or somethin... the guy uttered ,"wo3 ke2 yi3 yin3 you4 ni3 ma1?????" I laugh till my face muscles cramp!!!!
2. I was putting cherry lip balm. Eugene said while eating cream crackers,"why you use my red marker?". I retorted,"you also eating my post-it wad...."

Ideas of the decade:

How to avoid attending a meeting :
Series A
1) Say you sprain your finger (but still can attend meeting)
2) Say you hurt your eardrum... (good try!)
3) Say your sprained finger is stuck in your ear... (more serious)

Series B
1) Act idiot (Pout lips and adjust spects)
2) Act and speak like an idiot (Repeat Series B step 1 and say,"Meeting?? Meet who ah??")

Series C
1) Meeting at 1130
2) Disappear from 1045 and reappear at 2pm (Tried and tested)